Just a Thought…

Paris is looking for a new Frenemy

Did anyone catch the new Paris Hilton’s My New BFF last night?  I think that last night’s episode solidified the reality that the only reason Miss. Hilton signed on to this upside down dating game show was personal entertainment.

How did I come to this conclusion?  Easy.  Because I know if I was a bored socialite with a failed music career and lack luster fragrance line after a while shopping and traveling to Vegas would start getting old.  Where would I turn for pleasure but back to where it all started… reality television.  Now there’s only so many seasons of The Simple Life that one can pull off before audiences get angry (the number 1 comes to mind here).  So what is a girl to do?  Call up MTV who will put anyone on the air (Tila Tequila, those spoiled 16 year olds, Diddy, the list goes on…) and pitch them an idea that will give you ultimate power over a group of a dozen desperate wannabes.  End result?  Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.

"Friends"

Best Episode to Date: October 29th – the one with Dirt Nasty and a closet.  Priceless.  If only Onch were still around…

You have to hand it to the girl… she’s a lot smarter than people make her out to be.  And only she and Tyra Banks can manipulate girls into wearing and doing anything they say.  All I ask is for more closet episodes Paris.  Maybe you could parlay this into a hidden camera game show.  I think we already have the pilot.

The Best Friend a Girl Could Ask For

So until next time Paris and crew… keep it real.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Hef with the Twins and two randos

Drama at the Mansion everyone.  Old news yes, but you know you’re still talking about it.  Fact is the bunnies are growing up and growing out of their Beverly Hill’s cage.  Dare we say they may be rabbits now and rabbits need room to live, breath and ahem make more rabbits.  Here is an update on who/what/when/etc. is going on at our favorite Los Angles layaway.

Pops

Hef and Co.

Don’t worry folks.  Hugh Hefner the patriarch of Playboy isn’t lonely now that Holly, Bridget and Kendra have moved on.  He’s reportedly been linked to twins Karina and Kristina Shannon.  Might I add, they’re 19!  Yes, as in 63 years his junior.  I guess together they’re 38 which isn’t quite as disturbing… but still.  Ick.

No Longer Numero Uno

Holly

In her own words:  “I wanted to have kids,” she says. “When that wasn’t possible, I realized that I had to be honest with Hef and break it off.”

Holly Madison, 28 (if you flip-flop the numbers it is Hef’s age… creepy) is still living in the castle but is no longer dating the king.  I wonder if that ever gets awkward at dinner or if she runs into his new twin girlfriends in the bathroom?  The latest reports indicate that Miss. Madison has purchased a home but has not yet moved out of the Mansion.  Hopefully though she’s at least moved out of Hugh’s bed.

Traveling the World without Gramps

Bridget

The eldest of the three realithesbians, Bridget Marquardt, 35, has already moved on to bigger and better television deals according to numerous sources.  By bigger and better television I mean the Travel Channel, where reality television is actually somewhat REAL.  Supposedly the Halloween hungry blond is currently filming for a show entitled Bridget’s Beaches in Europe.  BB would follow the buxom beauty as she travels the globe exploring various destinations with, or without her costume.  All I have to say is watch out Samantha Brown!

Krazy Kendra

Kendra

The baby of the bunch, Kendra Wilkinson, 23, has moved out of the mansion but has stayed in the states and has been linked to footballer Hank Baskett.  Kendra’s take on the new girl’s moving in?  Well, let’s just say she didn’t throw them a ‘welcome to the neighborhood BBQ.’

Kendra in her own words: “There will only be original Girls Next Door… I would appreciate it if they would be a little bit more thankful. I don’t feel like they’re thankful.”

All of the girls, according to Hef, are in talks to star in their own reality spin offs on the E! network.

Thank Goodness We Have Season 5

So, until then ladies, keep it real.

Is it Just Me? Part Deux

Not So Real Anymore

Is it just me or has MTV really been slacking with the whole Real World recently?  And whatever happened to Road Rules?  …and I mean before they started kicking members off after they failed missions… more drama less Survivor, OK?  It seems like since the Hills became the cash cow all else has gone south, and fast.  The new stuff isn’t that great either.  Maybe it’s me.  Maybe I’m just getting too old for this stuff anymore (I hope not!).

La la la la la

I long for the days of Daria, the Real World (anytime around San Diego – best season to date), and music videos (yep I’m jumping on that bandwagon).

I Miss You

The only time I ever watch MTV now is Mondays at 9.  Although I did discover a little gem on accident last night.  The Hills: According to Me.  Genius!  This guy and his parody patrol nailed it.  Even though I am a little too obsessed with the Hills at times (I still pretend it’s real, like Santa) I am usually the first one to point out the obvious ridiculousness of it all.  I also rip Spencie a new one any chance I get – which is pretty often – that guy and his flesh colored beard make it oh-so-easy.

"Music" Television

OK, so back on topic.  What’s the deal MTV?  Canceling a landmark such as TRL?  MUSIC TELEVISION?  It’s in your name.  Hear me out- I don’t think you should play videos all day everyday, but once and a while would be nice.  I mean you do still have a Video Music Awards show and it would be nice if the winners actually ran on your network at least once.  What about Saturday nights?  Who in your targeted demographic is actually home enjoying reruns of Busted (which, btw, is AWFUL and makes me cringe whenever I pass is channel surfing)?  So, to solve your advertising problem why not have a DJ remixing videos?  Then at all those jumpin’ house parties instead of listening to some iTunes mix or, God forbid, the radio they could turn on MTV and enjoy what little music you still have to offer.  Sound good?  I think so.  Heck, to be politically correct you could even run ads about the pitfalls of teenage drinking.  Because you know 80% of those kids are probably still gonna be living with Mom and Dad.

So MTV think about the good times.  Remember what it used to be like?  You used to be credible.  You’re like a rapper turned entrepreneur.  You may still talk hood but you dress only in designer duds (and not the normal stuff – the weird runway crap).  I think it’s about time to recall your roots and get back to who you used to be… edgy, unique and watchable.

...and I want it now!

So please, MTV, I beg of you.  Fix it.  Stop casting Real World members who just want to be famous and start casting some real folks (the Real World: Hollywood?  Seriously?).  Show me something I haven’t already seen… a music video perhaps?  Some actual news stories (another topic entirely – what ever happened to MTV News?  John Norris must be getting so antsy sitting around the office in his Urban Outfitters with nothing to report).  Give me something I can believe in.  Because I know if you don’t I’ll find someone else who will… I wonder what is on Fuse this evening?

Until next time MTV, please, keep it real.

My Summer Fling

As many of you probably don’t know I had quite a bit of free time this summer.  With all those extra hours I would say I spent 98% with my one true love, television.  I had a nice little schedule of personal time set aside each day when I wasn’t out trying to make a buck at my part time retail job.  Each morning as I was enjoying my pancake/waffle/eggs (thanks Mom!  Gosh I miss living at home) I would surf my way through the usually horrid daytime TV lineup.  As this became a daily occurrence I began to notice that at 10 am everyday on TLC there were back to back episodes of a series titled Jon and Kate + 8.  I can think of only one word to describe this.  AMAZING.  OK two.  ADDICTIVE.

I have never fallen so quickly and so much in love with a program as I did with JK8 (Pronounced JKate).  I honestly don’t know what it is about this show.  I know it can’t be the 1. insistent  nagging of Kate towards Jon (whose seems pretty chill and the glue that holds it all together) or 2. the fact that this show kinda doesn’t make me ever want to have kids… but at the same time makes me want to have 8.  I think, after all my research, the one thing that keeps me tuning in is those darn kids.  Not so much the older 2 (Seriously Mady I’m done with the temper tantrums.  They were so Season 1.  Let’s try something new) but the 6 adorable sextuplets.  I just want to take one home with me.  Preferably Aaden or Hannah. or Alexis… or Joel… OK you get the idea, I LOVE THEM ALL!  I mean in all honestly who wouldn’t?  (And when they talk, my heart just melts!).

How Could You Not Love Those Little Faces?

So thank you TLC for bring this cute brood into my dull summer life.  And thank you Gosselin Family for being you.  Please don’t ever grow up.  Actually I take that back.  I think this show will really hit its peak in about 10 years… We can call it  Jon and Kate + 8: The Next Generation.  I like the sound of that.  So until then… keep it real Gosselins, all 10 of you.

The Osbourne Clan

Not to sound trite but I really do love Sharon Osbourne. She embodies everything; classy, fashionista, business woman, diva and rock goddess while still being well-spoken and a seemingly good mom. Her return to television on VH1 as house mom on Charm School tonight really proves to the rest of the world that she is the only Osbourne left with any marketability. After her appearance on Chelsea Lately this past week, I got to thinking about her family’s foray on to the silver screen, and how they’ve all.failed.miserably.

Ozzie – The mastermind behind The Osbournes (we’ll give it credit for being the first celebrity life show) soon got out shined by his children’s self image problem, his ATV accident and his obvious drug induced insanity. Currently in a large tiff with the Writer’s Guild over not wanting to pay them enough for a scripted show. He’s supposedly trying to call it ‘reality’ and paying them half as much. Way to be shady daddy!

Kelly – Failed music video career (aka don’t cover a Madonna hit as your song), a couple of guest stints on TV (Life As We Know It) and a public MTV based feud with Christina Aguilera. Kelly recently got skinny though!

Jack – This kid has been all over unmemorable TV. Guest appearances on unfunny episodes of That 70’s Show, Dawson’s Creek and the X factor. Was the star of Extreme Celebrity Detox and Extreme Celebrity Wrestling and then got his own show Jack Osbourne: Adrenaline Junkie on the Travel Channel. I remember watching this and thinking only “why?” and then changing the channel. I think he also boxed on TV vs. a member of S. Club 7. Way to work the system Jack!

And then Sharon – I mean if you can manage the Smashing Pumpkins and Ozzfest what can’t you do? America’s Got Talent, the X factor, her own talk show The Sharon Osbourne Show (sadly Ellen won that battle) and Ms. Osbourne Presents (UK) just to name a few.

Sharon, don’t let me down on this VH1 stint – I’ll be watching.

rock of love charm school

It’s so true, when a door closes a window opens. With the end of I LOVE MONEY – VH1 needs another new show to give its legion of reality TV stars more undeserved face time. The first episode has been leaked by the network without eliminations and the most surprising addition is season 2 winner AMBER. I guess that the tabloids missed the point that her and Brett broke up because I sure had no idea!Who cares that this is ridiculous, it looks WAY better than the Flavor of Love version and I will totally be watching Oct. 12.  See the vodpod side bar for the full episode.

(I hate that) I LOVE MONEY

Hoopz beat Megan! BOO

This morning while lying in bed recovering from a reality filled Saturday, I was accidentally treated to the season finale of I LOVE MONEY. It was supposed to air tonight at 7pm but I guess VH1 wanted to treat all its early risers to a sneak peak. While I hadn’t followed the show as closely as kristy, seeing snippets of episodes coupled with knowing  all the characters from their previous forays on the small screen.

Seemingly kind hearted yet street smart hoopz (named Nikki as it so turns out) took it all in the end, much to my dissapointment. I really wanted Megan to win and make me and everyone in the world feel as though they too could earn six figures by standing with a retarded dog in a bikini. No, actually in truth, Megan deserved to win. While I think her last minute quitting to avoid the surprise jury twist, deprived me of some really good Pumpkin, Heather pettiness, she played the game better than anyone else. Manipulating, saying the right thing at the right time and digging deep in to the narcisstic egos that makeup the core of VH1 reality to get one step further, was like watching Survivor back in the good old days when Richard Hatch wasn’t concerned about morality. It’s about the money baby! Quitting was probably the best way for her to go out in order to stay above the pathetic people she had been able to kick off. No one was going to reward her for properly playing the game like they sometimes do on Survivor or other jury based games, where real, level-headed people are involved. These overly muscled and botoxed VH1ers just wanted to make Megan ‘feel what’s it like bitch.’ I can hear Heather now.

Megan: Not just a dumb blonde

The finale of I Love Money is this Sunday and I have to say that I think Megan has a good chance of winning it all.  In the beginning of the show I thought Megan and Brandi would be the first to go… but surprisingly they lasted until the end.  Now I’m sure the fake boobs had something to do with it (and Megan’s bikini wearing at every elimination), guys just don’t want to let that go.  However, Megan was extremely good at manipulating the girls and the guys in the house.  Even Pumpkin who hated her in the beginning ended up in her alliance!  That didn’t last long though…. But she has had plenty of reality experience such as Beauty and the Geek season 3 (which if I’m not mistaken she won), and Rock of Love 2, where she made it toward the end (again manipulating Brett and using her assets).

So I am looking forward to see what kind of plan she has for the finale.  Real and Whiteboy seem to be so wrapped up around Hoopz that maybe they will want to eliminate the other so they can spend more time with Hoopz.  And if it ends up being Hoopz against Megan, I wouldn’t count Megan out…she almost beat Hoopz on the pole challenge (I wonder why…), and she did impressively well on the drunken challenge, proving that she has some sort of strength.

So I am predicting Megan to win it all!!   I mean the money would go to good use….saving all the retarded dogs in the world!

Is it Just Me?

Wanna Hawlk Some Product? You've Come to the Right Place

Is it just me or is the Biggest Loser on NBC Tuesday nights just an excuse for Ziploc to brag about their latest plastic baggie creation?  I have only tuned in for two episdoes EVER but this still seems a little strange to me.  Both episodes had a short segment revolved around something from these avid food preservationists.

The first encounter was slightly more repulsive than the last.  I will recount it for you as best as I can:

Loser1: OK, so you just put the veggies in the bag, zip it up and put it the microwave.

Loser2: You mean all you have to do is put them in the Ziploc Seal and Steam and put them in the microwave?

Loser1: Yeah

Loser2:  Wow, that’s pretty easy.

Shout. Me. Please.  I’m glad they’re eating healthy but come on people.  We get it.  The product is amazing.  If I really wanted to know about it I’d do my own research.  AKA go to the supermarket.

This weeks episode involved contestants using some pump devise on a plastic freezer bag.  I guess they were working their arm muscles so I will count that blantent attempt an advertising a quasi workout.  You got lucky this time NBC.

I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me next week.  Until then… keep it real.

Tuesday Conflict Averted

SO there were 15 minutes to go till the ‘10 spot’ (9c where I am) and I was still torn. Do I watch the highly anticipated (by me at least) premiere of Paris Hilton’s; my new bff OR watch my current and fabulous addiction, The Rachel Zoe Project.

Two skinny, rich blondes. THE TRIALS OF MY LIFE.

My fashion/botox idol

my business idol

VS

SO I caved and went with my current obsession knowing that MTV would, in

true MTV form, replay the hell out of Paris. I flipped to Paris’ MTV debut during the commercials and WOW, I made the right choice!  Mrs. Zoe and team zoe (excluding Taylor…great hair, bad attitude) will not be losing a lot, if any, viewers to Paris.  Even KG, who possibley loves Paris enough to have tried out herself, couldn’t keep it on longer than 20 minutes. I think that my Tuesday nights will be better spent tuned to Bravo. And speaking of New York Fashion week chronicled by Bravo…Project Runway tonight!